Dear friends and family,
I know it may be difficult for you to see what I’m going through, whether it’s through my personal posts or updates when I’m not doing well.
I understand if you feel overwhelmed and intimidated at times. You may have never known someone as medically complex as me before. Maybe you’re not sure what to say, or fear you’d potentially say something wrong. You might feel helpless, wishing you could do more.
As you may know, my health can change on a daily basis without any sort of warning. I have some level of pain every day and sometimes experience flare-ups for an extended period of time. These flare-ups signify my disease progressing and often limit my physical abilities even more.
My body is constantly changing; you may be gradually noticing some of these types of changes in me. I’m not able to regularly participate in many of the same activities and outings I used to do with you. I don’t have as much energy, stamina, or physical mobility as I did just five years ago. This is a very difficult realization to come to terms with.
I don’t expect you to always know what to say or do. If I’m sharing something with you, that means I feel comfortable being vulnerable with you. If I don’t open up to you or if I’m vague, then that usually just means I’m not quite ready to explain what’s going on. Chronic pain, flare-ups, and disease progression are all very personal experiences for me and can be difficult to put into words.
I tend to isolate myself from others when things get especially difficult. During these times I may seem distracted, withdrawn, or more tired than usual. I’m unable to process much of anything when my mind is so focused on what my disease is doing to my body. Depending on what’s happening in my life, it may take me a while to get back to feeling like myself.
If you’re one of the people who have remained close to me even though I seemed distant or was out of touch, I honestly don’t have enough words to express how much you mean to me. Thank you for not giving up on our friendship even when I haven’t been able to be the same type of friend back to you. I value you more than you know.
One of the phrases I hear most often is, “I wish there was something I could do.” I know you mean well when you say this, and I do appreciate that you’re concerned about me. I also understand that you simply want to be there for me in a larger capacity. However, trust me when I say that you’ve already been helping just by showing you care.
I’m encouraged by your virtual support, inspired by your thoughtfulness and generosity, and comforted by your words of encouragement and heartfelt prayers. You have given me so much strength and courage to get through each day. Much, much more than you could even imagine. Thank you.
Love,
Jasmin
I was looking through my cards tonight and I came across one you made! Circa 2000-2004. You are such an amazing person! I am glad to see you are blogging.
Take care,
Denise
I love that! Thank you so much for your support!! I miss my card company and am gradually getting back into drawing :)
Unfortunately to hear your disease and pain.
Bless for you and VERY respectful for your optimism for life and tremendous struggle for it !
Sending to you of virtual hugs and love~~~
Thank you very much!!
Jasmin! Your blog is amazing. Great job! Keep writing, please. I love your quotes page. Sending you virtual hugs and love-
Gretty Emmerich.
Thank you!! ❤️
very honest and thoughtful
Thank you! :)
Hello Jasmin,
I met your mom at the church fundraiser Tea. I mentioned that I had worked at the Hole in the Wall Camp and that my daughter Cindy was a councillor there and remembered you. We were active in the camp since it opened and were there for about 12 years. We lived next door to the camp. My son Erik also worked there. I was very happy to know that you spent many summers there. It is an absolutely life changing place. Your letter is very thought provoking and honest and I hope you keep writing and sharing your story and thoughts. Take care, Cindy
Hi Cindy! I apologize that it’s taken me so long to get back to you! Thank you for your kind words about my post. I also wrote one about Camp a couple years ago. (http://jasminfloyd.com/2016/01/26/to-my-camp-counselors) It’s certainly a wonderful place, we feel very fortunate to be a part of the community. ❤️
I can never forget that little girl with the beautiful smile and so much determination from Eastford when I was working in O.T. there. You and your mom have been in my thoughts and prayers all these years. You still have that beautiful smile and determination! So nice to see. Is red still your favorite color?
Hi Kim!! Thank you so much for your comment, it made me so happy to hear from you! I’m sorry it’s taken me a while to reply, I haven’t been blogging much this year. We’ve talked about you often through the years! I still have the purple hairbrush you made me from a baton, and just recently shared it at an FOP gathering where I spoke on a panel. You’ve made such an important impact on my life, I hope we’ll be able to reconnect in person at some point! I still love red, but purple is now my favorite :) ❤️
Wow – as usual from you, an eloquent, heartfelt statement of where you are in your life, and what your community should understand about how you react and what you’d like from others. So applicable to relationships within a community. Well said, Jasmine!
Your letter is so simple, caring & direct. So many times people just need a little way of understanding so they can respond in the way that really connects. You are a treasure, Jasmin!
Your thoughtfulness is inspiring!
Dear Jasmin—My love and gratitude for and to you is ongoing, and it swells in response to the artistry and authenticity of your writing. So, more love and more thanks to and for you, from me (for one).
Jasmin, You never cease to amaze me with your beauty, eloquence, full heart and soul! I think of you so much and have you always in my prayers to our Lord and Blessed Mother Mary! I love you dear, dear Jasmin! XOXO, Cathee
Jasmin
How is it that you know always know what to say….must be you’re in touch with your soul. That’s what shines through all the time and it’s extraordinary!
Sending love,
Bob